» Tis the Season to be … Dead Wrong?!?

Early this holiday season, I advanced a theory explaining the spontaneous bursts of anonymous Christmas cheer that began suddenly erupting around the office. My theory was philosophically simple, scientifically elegant, and, as it turns out—dead wrong. Santa is not, in fact, a ninja. I stand firm by my reasoning, because that Santa guy has mad ninja skills.

The tinsel-trimmed madness that grips Adcetera every holiday season is actually the annual Secret Santa competition. Allow me to explain, for those unfamiliar with the concept (as I was, being new to the mayhem this year).

The concept is simple, yet festive. Everyone draws a name out of a hat. Your job, as this person’s newly anointed Secret Santa, is to deliver delightful holiday surprises throughout the month of December. The big catch, so to speak, is to not get caught delivering these presents. The obvious question here is, why all the sneaking around?

Because there are prizes to be had, that’s why.

What better motivation could there be? Apart from surprising and delighting your coworkers and reveling in the good cheer you spread, of course.

But, mostly it’s the prizes.

Awards are given each year to the person voted Best Secret Santa. There’s also a prize for catching the most Secret Santas in action.

This year’s Best Secret Santa goes to none other than our new biz director and resident rainmaker, Susie Gedeon. Her Twelve Naughty Days of Christmas theme saw her holiday victim, Renee Allen, treated to a dozen naughty-but-nice gifts, along with a progressive poem patterned after the more family-friendly Christmas classic. I realize that the ol’ interweb is a censorship-free zone, but considering this is Adcetera’s company blog, I’m not sure if Susie’s original poem will make it past the ADC (Adcetera Decency Committee). The best I can do is attempt to publish the work in its entirety, and hope it is not too heavily redacted for you to get the gist.

Here goes:

On the 12th Naughty Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me …

Twelve rubber bands,
Eleven golden balls,
Ten swizzle sticks,
Nine late night booty calls,
Eight fake cocktail rings,
A stiffy seven and seven,
Six sexy lotions.
Five golden jingle balls,
Four drunken reindeer,
Three glittered Ho’s,
Two horny toads
And a pink pair of zebra panties.

So way to go Susie, for keeping Renee smiling and us laughing through the whole month of December!

Our other big winner this year was Manuel Frausto, Maintenance Coordinator and Gourd-Shaping Guru. He managed to bust and/or correctly intuit the identities of over 30 Secret Santas. Some cry foul, citing that his hours are much earlier than ours, and he does tend to be here early enough to catch even the most careful Covert Kringle at work.

I suspected that there was something much deeper at work here, other than early morning arrival times. So, I sat down with Manuel and started to do a little digging into what makes him tick, and what his particular secret was for catching so many Secret Santas in action.

To better gain his trust in hopes of getting him to divulge his secrets, I attempted to interview him in his native tongue: Spanish. This was entirely unnecessary, as Manuel’s English is really quite good, especially when compared to my Spanish skills.

When I asked him what his secret was, he said, “No me moleste. Tengo muchas cosas para hacer hoy! Escritor tonto!”

OK, I’ll admit that he lost me there. Other Aceterans fluent in Spanish assured me that what he said was that he “set up a network of wireless webcams to catch people in the act.” I’m still not buying it.

By default, I resort to my tried-and-true explanation for most unexplained phenomena: ninjas. And Manuel is obviously one.

So, whether it was naughty elves or spying ninjas, a great time was had by all during this year’s Secret Santa competition at Adcetera. Thanks to everyone for keeping the holidays festive. And, as they say this time of year, to all a good night!

Have a safe and joyous holiday season and we’ll see ya in 2012!